Monthly Archives: February 2012
I realize I’m starting to sound like a broken record but this here is another fantastic character design from the brilliant Jack Kirby. Like the previously reviewed Darkseid and Mantis, Mr. Miracle is a character created by Kirby for his 4th World series published by DC Comics in the early 70s. Of the 3 books created to establish the 4th world, Mr. Miracle’s book lasted the longest at 18 issues where as The New Gods and The Forever People lasted only 11 issues each. Of those 3 series the Mr. Miracle books are the only ones I’ve read. I’ve been familiar with the New Gods (of which Mr. Miracle is a “member”) for many years but only recently took an interest in educating myself on their history. I bought the complete Mr. Miracle series which was collected in two trade paper backs and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Old 70s comics can be pretty jarring to read after having become so accustomed to the modern style of story telling. In modern comics there’s plenty of splash pages and giant panels to show off the art and story lines usually span 6 issues. In the old days writers crammed what would now be a 6 issue story into one single issue. There’s alot of dialogue and much of it is unnatural exposition. Like if a character is running through the woods to escape from a pursing mob they’ll say out loud to themselves, “Perhaps if I climb up this nearby tree and hide in it’s lush foliage my pursuers will run directly past me allowing me to make a daring escape.” The cornballyness was refreshing though and took me back to my childhood when that was how all super heroes talked. Mr. Miracle is not exactly a super hero mind you, he’s a super escape artist. That’s his ability, he escapes. Every issue involved some villain capturing him and placing him in an unescapable death trap which of course he would escape from. Totally silly but totally fun to read.
The figure is awesome. I’ve reviewed all kind of toys on here that I’ve told you were designed by Mr. Kirby but this is the first one to actually be designed to resemble his particular art style. The rigid look and muscle definition lines are pure Kirby. I find the hands more than anything remind me of Kirby’s boxy style. I absolutely love it. The colors are about as loud as you can get, with a mix of strong red, green and yellow. This figure looks like a throw back and it works great with this sculpting style. I find modern design Mr. Miracle figures look pretty goofy trying to pull off this crazy outfit but here it works. Another aspect of this design that I really like is the absence of a nose. This is how he appeared in many of Kirby’s drawings and I think it makes him appear more alien thus less like a doofus.
Other artists tend to draw him with a solid nose and pupils which makes him appear more human. Mr. Miracle is actually just a dude in a mask (His name is Scott Free, get it?) but I prefer this other worldly look. For accessories Mr. Miracle includes a mother box which is basically the iphone that helps him make his escapes and a display stand. Most DC Direct figures come with display stands, usually of the characters logo but I especially love the New Gods bases. Each one is translucent yellow with Kirby Crackle all around the edge. An awesome little detail. DC Direct has been making amazing figures of DC’s characters for years now but I think if I had to pick a single favorite series it would be these New Gods figures. Great stuff. 10 out of 10.
Rip Cord was first released in 1984 as the Joe team’s H.A.L.O.(High Altitude Low Opening) jumper. His design was pretty simple with a green camo pattern covering his jump suit from the neck down. He had a green rubber parachute pack that strapped around his body, a green rifle, a black helmet and his coolest accessory: a black air mask that strapped around his face. That removable mask was the one thing that made him stand out from being just another green soldier. There were new Joes coming out every few months and a guy like Rip Cord may have easily got lost in the shuffle. Most Joes made very few appearances in the cartoon as the story lines tended to revolve around a core team of Joes. Guys like Rip Cord were left with scraps of dialogue and appearances in group shots only. Rip Cord was rescued from obscurity however by Larry Hama, the genius who wrote the Joe comic and the many file cards on the back of the figure packages. Starting in issue 32 Rip Cord was involved in a very memorable story line where he was dating a daughter of a Cobra Crimson Guard. She was kidnapped and Rip Cord went to Cobra Island to rescue her. It was there that he battled Zartan and the two of them ended up switching identities. This event lead to Rip Cord finding out the location of Cobra’s secret base in the town of Springfield but unfortunately Rip Cord’s girlfriend was murdered by Scrap iron in issue 43. Rip Cord was never featured very prominently in the comic after that but at least he got one good story in.
And then the live action G.I. Joe movie came out in 2009 and Rip Cord was one of the few Joes to be featured. Only someone decided it would be a good idea to cast Marlon Wayans the black comedian as the hard nosed red haired paratrooper. This drove me nuts. Why do this? It’s not like they needed a paratrooper in the movie, it’s not like Rip Cord was ever funny. I just don’t get it. It’s certainly not a matter of them wanting to cast a black actor but there not being any black Joes. There are a ton of great african-american Joes: Stalker, Road Block, Doc, Red Dog, Hardball, DJ. Or why not make him a new character entirely? The main reason this bothers me is because the cartoons and comics that came out after the movie have followed suit, Rip Cord is a black jokester now. I hope no one misunderstands what I’m saying here I just don’t see why they had to basically erase a character that was already established and had a fan base. I started to wonder if I’d ever see the Rip Cord that I grew up with ever again.
Well Hasbro came through eventually. They released a 7 pack of figures called “Assault on Cobra Island” that featured many fan favorite characters who had not yet gotten a modern era make over. Rip Cord appears in the pack in his original green camo and his ginger red hair. Only now they’ve changed his name to Spc. Altitude since Marlon has stolen his name from him. Name changes are common these days though so I can ignore that, I know he’s Rip Cord, and he’s awesome. 8 out of 10.
This is a bit of a cheat. This review is for a toy I no longer have. I just parted ways with it a few months ago after having it for most of my life. When I moved into my current apartment this past September I had a lot of things to pack up from my old apartment. I have a tendency to hold onto things and I have a hard time letting go of even the silliest thing. Philipae was not an easy thing to let go of and even as I was putting him in the garbage bag I realized I’m probably gonna regret it one day. I set him on my windowsill and took this pic of him before saying good-bye. That was long before this website idea had ever crossed my mind, I just knew I wanted a pic to remember him by. So now this post will act as a memorial of sorts. As kids Doug and I had a ton of model kits, mostly sports cars but we had some nifty oddities like Darth Vader’s Tie-Fighter and this brontosaurus. I loved this brontosaurus statue and played with him not as if he were a delicate display piece but a peer of the many rubber dinosaurs I owned. I suppose that’s why somewhere along the way he lost both his hind legs. The legs consisted of 2 sides and a foot that was glued on the bottom. I had a couple of the pieces but not all so he remained bipedal and boxed up for many many years.
This is embarrassing to recall and I’m not even sure how it started but one day me and my best friend in high school Greg had decided to root through one of my old toy boxes so we dumped the contents out onto the floor. Two of the boxes inhabitants were this as yet unnamed brontosaurus model kit and a long gangly rubber skeleton that belonged to Doug. We were picking up random toys and for lack of a better word we played with them. We were giving them silly voices and basically doing skits with them. When I picked up the brontosaurus I dubbed him Philipae on the spot and he became a french talk-show host. The skeleton became his band leader that laughed at all of his bad monologue jokes. Other toys would come over and be interviewed by Philipae. Whenever the interviews took a turn for the worse Philipae would mug at the “camera” and shout out his freshly created catch phrase. “Ne pas les jambes!” Which is a bad translation of him yelling ” I don’t have legs!” every time he was fishing for laughs. At the time we thought it was pretty hilarious. It was a silly night, what can I say. Me and Greg continued to use the catch phrase out of context for months and nobody would know what the hell we were talking about.
It was probably a year later that I was doodling cartoon characters in my binder in English class. I would draw pervy little animals saying ridiculous things and then pass them to my friend Robbie Costello in hopes of making him laugh out loud in class. He was a giggly type of guy. What started out as a bunch of random characters like George the beached fish and Adolf the Nazi pig became a running comic strip. I dubbed the strip Costello Island in honor of Robbie and I populated the fictional tropical island with all kinds of crazy characters. Inside the volcano at the center of the island I decided to place a wise old dinosaur and who better to fill that spot than Philipae the 2 legged Brontosaurus talk-show host. As I continued to write the comic the characters evolved and Philipae lost the 2 legged talk show schtick and just became the all-knowing dinosaur that provided advice to the other zany characters. I self published Costello Island for a few years. Strange Adventures even allowed me to sell it through their shop which was awesome. I moved onto another book after a while called TRIP. TRIP starred a girl named Amy who had the ability to “trip” to other dimensions. In a 2 part story that took place in issues 4 an 5 she tripped to Costello Island and I was able to revisit the Costello characters after taking a few years off. I haven’t used the character for anything in a while but he and the rest of the Costello gang are always in the back of my mind ready to go on new adventures should the mood strike me. If you’re interested in checking out Costello Island I have an old crappy website, http://www.costellocomics.50megs.com and I have a few old animations on youtube, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kpIfrRpsB0
Though this old model kit inspired a character that I’ve used for years to come I felt the character was so much more than this broken model kit now so it seemed safe to chuck him out at the time. It’s only been a few months but already I regret disposing of him. Model kit or not, the character of Philipae will live on and keep the name of Brontosaurus alive with him. (You realize they don’t use that name anymore right?) Based strictly on the model kit and none of the nostalgia, I give this guy a 7 out of 10.
The original Scare Glow figure came out in one of the final waves of MOTU figures in 1987. The other figures released that year were all pretty crappy and I never owned any of them. As goofy as Rio-Blast and Clamp Champ were the Mattel designers must’ve had a little bit of gas left in the tank to come up with Scare Glow. He looked cool, his name was cool, and his action feature was cool: he glowed (glew?) in the dark. You’d think making a skeleton themed bad guy would be a no no seeing as the main bad guy Skeletor already had that schtick. However this design is pretty far removed from Skeletor’s look other than the skull face and purple cape that only a Mom could confuse the two. Scareglows body design was a solid black base with bones pained over top, kind of like Johnny and his Cobra -Kai cronies wore in the originla Karate Kid movie. I’m not sure if the character was actually supposed to be wearing a black suit with a bone design over top of it or if the black supposed to represent negative space and Scareglow actually had a skinny little skeleton body. I think the skeleton body would make more sense but I always imagined that the black was part of his costume and that he really was as muscle bound as everyone else in town. Kinda makes you wonder what he would look like if he took his unitard off though.
I recently acquired the Classics version of Scareglow released through the Mattel website and I gotta say that he is super cool. He’s very true to the original look but better proportioned and meaner looking. He includes a collared purple cape which sits nicely on his shoulders, his classic green scythe , and a strange key holder accessory. It’s a cylinder which appears to be grey stone with a chain at the bottom that connects to his wrist. There’s an amazingly detailed Castle Greyskull miniature on the top that pops off and hidden inside is what I assume is a key to said Castle. This modern Scareglow retains the glow in the dark feature of the original and it looks great. Have him catch a little light then flick the light off and he’s a blazing green skeleton. Hopefully the next time MOTU resurfaces as either a cartoon or comic series some time is spent developing this character as he’s never really been explored in the past. 9 out of 10.
I haven’t yet reviewed any vehicles and I have a bunch of them so I thought I’d better get started. Granted, I did review my San Diego Comic Con exclusive Starscream but I consider him more of a character than a straight up vehicle. Speaking of SDCC exclusives I’ve got more on them later. So for my first pure vehicle review I’ve decided to go with what is arguably the coolest vehicle ever designed for any toy line ever, the Cobra HISS tank. Off the top of my head the Star Wars AT-AT might give it a run for it’s money. There were a ton of cool vehicles released as part of the G.I.Joe line including the Vamp, the Skystriker, the Bugg, the Havok and many more. Some of them were very realistic and closely resembled what real soldiers piloted in the battlefield, others looked like they were straight out of a science fiction movie. The HISS tank was somewhere in between. When I look at the HISS tank, which stands for HIgh Speed Sentry I see what appears to to be a totally believable vehicle. It looks like something that could very easily exist in the real world. And at the same time there’s nothing in the real world that looks anything like it. It’s got such a unique design that it is immediately recognizable even if you only see the silhouette. Those triangular treads are very unique and help to give the HISS tank it’s iconic shape. The cockpit design is sleek and relatively simple. The glass canopy makes absolutely no sense for a armored tank as it leaves the pilot completely defenseless but I love it anyway. Later versions replaced the glass with solid armor but I didn’t like how you could no longer see the driver so I’ll take the glass canopy any day. If anything I think it makes the HISS drivers seem that much more badass in that they’re willing to roll into battle in a shimmering glass coffin on wheels. The twin dorsal mounted canons is another signature feature of the HISS tank. They can be controlled by the pilot in the cockpit or operated manually by another brave Cobra Trooper who’s willing to sit unprotected in the back. There’s a ledge at the rear of the tank with two foot pegs so you can load up to 4 figures onto the tank in total. The rotating canon piece can be removed revealing the tanks hollow insides. My Cobra troopers pulled the old trojan horse trick on my Joes on more than one occasion by piling into that hollow shell and then placing the canon back overtop of them. The HISS tank has remained one of Cobra’s main transports and attack vehicles since it’s first release in 1983 right up until the present. It’s appeared many times in the cartoons and comics, had over 15 different toy versions released and may hopefully appear in the upcoming Joe:Retaliation movie. One of the coolest interpretations of the HISS was in one of the Devil’s Due/Dreamwave Joe/Transformers comic book crossover events. A few years ago these 2 comic companies would publish a a joint adventure between these two properties on an annual basis. One such story featured popular Joe vehicles that were actually Transformers in disguise. Iron Hide and Ratchet ended up being HISS tanks. Well after the success of the Starscream Skystriker at last years comic con, Hasbro has decided to release another Joe/Transformers hybrid at the convention this summer. Shockwave as a HISS Tank!! How cool is that? Hella cool. You can bet I’ll get my hands on one of those by any means necessary and I’ll be sure to share my thoughts on it with you right here. Stay tuned. 10 out of 10.
What can one say about Lak Sivrak. He’s a werewolf from outer-space. That’s about it. Lak growls at the camera for a split second in the original Star Wars movie when Luke and Obi-wan enter the Mos Eisley cantina looking for a pilot. That’s it. Such is the case with many Star Wars characters. They’re on screen for all of a second and then future generations of nerds craft entire histories for them in novels and comics. Many of them, Lak included, didn’t even have names when they were originally put to film. This is why the toys released in the 80s had names like Walrus Man, and Hammerhead before receiving fancy new names in the 90s like Ponda Baba and Mowma Nadon. Lucas filled his scenes with all kinds of weird and wonderful creatures to establish this galaxy far far away as a very diverse one. Apparently when he first envisioned the scene when Luke enters the cantina it was to be filled with a wide array of spectacular aliens. Due to time and financial constraints what happened was his crew just grabbed whatever might pass for an alien from the studio’s supply closet and stuck them in the scene. Lucas was less than thrilled to have a werewolf and a giant praying mantis lounging about. So much so that Lak was actually removed from the special edition version of the film released in 1997. In his place is a doofy looking digital elephant guy. Though Lak may have looked out of place and not of the best quality I always thought he was one of the coolest cantina aliens as a kid. Wolfman is awesome so who wouldn’t love Wolfman with a laser gun? Unfortunately no action figure of Lak was released when I was a kid even though creatures that had equally minimal amounts of screen time did receive the action figure treatment. Oddly enough it wasn’t until the 1997 revival of Star Wars with the release of the special editions that Lak finally got an action figure, just as Lucas had him erased from the universe all together. Yet Lak lived on in the various “expanded universe” comic books and novels. Apparently he joined up with the rebel alliance soon after that afternoon in the cantina and eventually died while fighting the empire in the battle for Endor. Who knew?
The Lak Sivrak figure is pretty cool though it is rather plain. The 90s era Star wars figures weren’t great in general. They were a vast improvement over the 80s versions but the human likenesses were still off and the articulation was still very limited. As you can see on Lak here he only has joints at his shoulders, legs, waist and neck. No knee or elbow joints which while standard for the Star Wars line is still pretty weak. The face is a good representation of what we see in the film though he does come across pretty tame. He looks like the kind of werewolf that Scooby Doo could take out if he had enough snacks in him. As with alot of these characters the full body was never shown on screen so the toy designers were sometimes left to fill in the blanks. I like the animalistic feet they gave Lak which makes him stand out a little more. The outfit is quite bland but it looks like the typical garb being sported on Tatooine by everyone else so it works. Not bad, but not great. 6 out of 10.
Doctor Leonard Samson is a super hero psychiatrist. He first appeared in the Hulk comics when he tried to cure Bruce Banner of his “alternate personality” the Hulk. It didn’t work and the mild mannered Doctor actually ended up mutated himself by exposing himself to the Hulk’s gamma radiation. This caused his hair to grow long and turn green and his body hulked up, not to the extent of the Hulk but maybe Hulk Hogan. Since his initial appearance Doc Samson has been a mainstay of the Hulk comics and has shown up all over the Marvel Universe. Sometimes he’s called in for his psychiatry skills and other times he’s just called in to kick ass. He’s a man with the brain and the brawn. He’s not really a character that I have much of an attachment to as I rarely read Hulk comics growing up and let’s face it, Doc Samson just isn’t that cool. He’s basically a green haired Fabio in a Flash T-shirt. Still, as a Marvel junkie I have a soft spot for every single character they have and even wankers like the Doc do their part to expand the universe and make it seem like a more real place. I’m always happy when Hasbro opts to make a C-lister like Samson instead of another Wolverine or Spider-Man. An interesting tidbit, in the Ed Norton Incredible Hulk movie Doc Samson appears in a small role in his pre-mutated form. He was played by at the time little known actor Ty Burrell who has now become quite well known as Phil from the fantastic show Modern Family. I would love to see a sequel made where Ty gets mutated into the musclebound Doc Samson, that would be amusing to say the least.
The figure itself is pretty decent. He’s not great but then again neither is the character. You’d be hard pressed to make a Doc Samson figure that would blow my mind. The head sculpt is good with his signature flowing green locks. The body shape is appropriately big so he towers over smaller figures like Spider-Man. With the yellow buccaneer boots and low neck red T-shirt this is a character screaming for a re-design. The thing is different artists have re-designed Samson in the past, including one of my favorites Ed McGuinness and yet I’m glad hasbro went with this classic look. When it comes to super heroes I like them displayed in their most iconic uniform even if it is a godawful one. That’s why I passed on the wife- beater and sunglasses Luke cage and went with the yellow leather jacket and silver tiara version. You gotta love classic 70s cheese. 4 out of 10.
As much as I’m nostalgic for the toys of my youth I can’t help but get excited when I wander down the preschool aisle at the toystore. (I realize that sounds creepy) All I mean is that some of the toys geared toward pre-school children are actually pretty awesome. Almost every toy line that I love has a cutesy version for young kids. Star Wars, G.I. Joe and Transformers are all available in little two packs under names like Galactic Heroes and Combat Heroes. One of the coolest toy lines available for young kids these days is the imaginext line from Fisher-Price. They make all kinds of awesome Batman stuff including vehicles and playsets and the figures themselves are about two inches tall and stylized with big hands and feet. Before they got into making super heroes though the imaginext line caught my eye a few years ago when I saw their Lost Creatures series. Each pack came with a cute and colorful oversized creature and, as far as I could tell, a hobo. How could you not love a Hobo vs a Giant Scorpion or a Giant Cobra. I thought they were absolutely hilarious and I wanted them. I couldn’t justify buying them for myself but every time I went to Walmart I had to show them to whoever I was with. I’m not sure if anybody ever got as big a kick out of them as I did but I felt they needed to be shared. In all honesty I realize that these figures are probably not meant to be vagrants but more likely cast-aways stranded on some prehistoric island. Regardless the hobo angle was more amusing. Well my ex girlfriend Toni heard my cries for help and bought me both the Scorpion and the Cobra sets for my birthday a couple of years ago. Yay!
I actually didn’t open them as they look pretty cool the way they’re displayed in the package and I always intended to display them that way. The packages are open front so that you can still pull a trigger on the creatures to activate their strike attack. The scorpion is cool, bright and colorful as I mentioned but the real star of the set is the hobo. He’s got a hipster bedhead haircut swept over one eye and his clothes are tattered. He looks like he’s been on the losing end of his battle with the scorpion and yet he’s still smiling, you have to admire that. 7 out of 10.
Last week I reviewed Roadpig who was included in the recently released Dreadnok 7 pack. That set was made up of 7 previously unreleased versions of the mercenary biker gang who are often in the employ of Cobra. The companion pack to that was a Slaughter’s Marauders set which consisted of 7 Joes all of who operate under the command of Sgt. Slaughter. Slaughter, who is a real life guy was integrated into the Joe mythos in 1987 when they included him in the animated movie. In the film Duke’s cocky younger brother Lt. Falcon is punished for abandoning his post (and a slew of other charges) by being sent to serve under the hard nosed Slaughter in the middle of nowhere. When we meet Slaughter for the first time he is accompanied by his squad of renegades which included Taurus, Red Dog and Mercer. Mercer was the most interesting of the lot by far. He was a former Cobra-Viper who had defected from Cobra and joined the Joe team. How cool is that? The introduction of Mercer made me realize that all those masked Cobra troopers were actually people with back stories of their own. It made me ponder what led these guys down this evil path to join a ruthless terrorist organization and fight against their own country. These weren’t crazies from the middle east, Cobra troopers were always white and spoke in American accents. I thought it was a very cool concept to have a character that was won over by Cobra’s propaganda but then became disillusioned with their philosophy and jumped ship. Not only jumped ship but took up arms with G.I. Joe the task force who’s primary purpose was thwarting Cobra. It opened up my eyes to all kinds of possible story lines. Unfortunately they never really ran with the concept and Mercer didn’t do much in the cartoons or the comics after 87 so the movie remains his most significant appearance in the world of Joe. Slaughter himself carried on as a popular character in the later seasons of Joe and the concept of his Marauder team was introduced. Well established Joes like Low-Light, Barbeque, and Spirit were repainted in unifying colors and put together as a team. This 7 pack is rounded out by those 3 as well as Lt. Falcon. No Slaughter though, damn likeness rights.
The Mercer figure itself is pretty great and Hasbro does exactly what I want them to do with these modern era figures; make it look like the figure I loved as a kid so it’s immediately recognizable as Mercer but then improve on it. Like the original this Mercer still has his flat top haircut, his red vest, blue pants, black boots and probably the coolest thing about the original: the “no cobra” tattoo on his left arm. It’s a cobra tattoo as I imagine many Cobra troopers would have gotten as an initiation but Mercer’s has a circle and slash over it. It might be a little over the top in establishing this guy as a former Cobra but I think it’s a cool and believable little detail. The face sculpt on this guy is great and has a ton of personality. He’s got pursed lips and a arched eyebrow and earrings in both ears. He looks badass and is my favorite figure of the set. 9 out of 10.
New friend and “mike’s collection” reader Paul Boudreau recently shared pics of his collection with me. He has a nice collection of bootleg Star Wars toys. I have a few boot legs in my collection but it never occurred to me to actually seek them out. Bootlegs as you might imagine are knock-offs of popular toys usually from foreign countries and of much cheaper quality. I decided that now would be a good time to write about the best (worst) boot leg toys in my collection. If you want crappy knock-offs of anything there’s no better place to turn than Mexico. I just so happen to have a best buddy who heralds from Mexico and on one of his recent trips home to visit his family he asked me if I wanted anything. Everyone else of course wanted cheap tequila but not me, get me some crap-tacular Mexican action figures. Miguel came through big time on that request as I cannot imagine a crappier pair of figures than these two. Like, come on Mexico. Are you even trying? This package contains two figures in some crappy shrink wrap with a cardboard header. The header says “Super Heroes” and features Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman, Spider-Man and I think Aquaman. It’s kind of hard to tell as they got the colors right on everyone except for the non-descript blonde guy on the far right. Aqua man should be rocking an orange shirt but this guy ironically enough is wearing a more aqua colored shirt. The cardboard piece placed behind the figures to give the package it’s shape is solid white, that is until you turn it around and realize it’s actually comprised of some Oral-B dental floss packaging.
The figures themselves are of Batman and Nightwing. Batman actually looks remarkably like he’s supposed to. He’s clad in black from head to toe save for a gold colored belt and batish symbol on his chest. He has some flesh colored paint slapped on his face as well to showcase that famous square jaw of his. Nightwing doesn’t fare so well. The Mexicans probably didn’t know who he was so just went with whatever color they could find. Instead of a nice dark blue, Nightwing is treated to some lime green tights with gold accents. Where this figure really shines is in the face. A glob of flesh colored paint was slapped on leaving green poking through all over the place like he’s the worst dressed “V” alien ever. He has some black for the hair and then another thick black line over his eyes. Nightwing does wear a domino mask just like he used to when he was the more recognizable Robin but instead of painting the clearly sculpted mask and leaving eyeholes, the gringo who painted this figure decided Nightwing would be better served with a Geordi LaForge visor. And then both figures are inexplicable given gigantic shiny wings. You could try and convince me that these are capes but the veiny-ness leads me to believe otherwise. I could score these guys highly in a hipster ironic way but I think I’ll score these guys as if I was a kid who just opened them up for Christmas. 0 out of 10. Shoulda went with the tequila.