Like Georgie and his pals from a few posts ago, this pink little oddity was just some random dollar store thing that I’ve held onto since my childhood. I imagine they probably all came from the Canex in Base Borden Ontario where I spent my early years. If you’re not an army brat you may not be familiar with Canex. My Dad was in the army and when we lived in Ontario for a few years (4 or 5 maybe) we lived in Borden which was a town just filled with army personnel and their families. Canex stands for Canadian Forces Exchange System and as a kid it was like our Walmart. I had no idea it was a store that only existed on bases. I was actually pretty unaware that I even lived on a base or what that meant. It was a great spot to grow up from what I remember, lots of kids around, Tank Park: a park filled with old tanks that you could crawl around on, a museum with a skull with a bullet hole in it, all kinds of cool stuff. Anyway, Canex is where I remember buying most anything. All my Smurfs and Joes came from there back in the day. That is where I’m guessing me and Doug got our space men figures. We each had the same set of 5 inch figures except mine were white and Doug’s were pink. The set consisted of a combination of spacemen and astronauts. They were solid plastic with no moving joints and no paint, just solid colors. We had no idea what they were called if anything so we just made up names. The only name I remember is the one I gave to this dorky looking turtle creature with crab claws: Turtle Man. We lived on a loop back in Borden and in the center was a playground with a large sand pit. This was the perfect play area for these tough chunks of plastic with no joints to jam up or accessories to lose. Me and Doug had a game we would sometimes play where we would bury a toy in the sand, close our eyes and spin around until we were dizzy and then try to find it again. On more than one occasion we didn’t find it again. Turtle Man was one of the sand pit victims. I remember once mentioning to Dad that I buried a figure in the sand and couldn’t find it. In true heroic Dad fashion he grabbed a shovel and dug up the entire pit. When the search came up empty he turned to me and asked when I buried it. “Last summer.” He was not impressed. I wasn’t trying to be a dick. In my little kid mind I truly believed that I had buried it that good.
We ended up getting rid of all of those figures but I kept this one, which I don’t remember where it came from. It’s much smaller than the other figures we had, this one only being an inch and a half or so. This random Turtle man figure has sat in my toy box for 20+ years and I dug him out to write this review. Just before I sat down to write my sand pit story I figured I’d check online to see if I could find out anything about these things, it worked for Georgie after all. Well I found a few blogs similar to mine that provided me with a little info that was pretty neat to discover. The figures were called Galaxy Laser Team and produced by a company called processed plastic company and sold through their Tim-Mee Toy Company brand. I checked out the company’s website and apparently they were the ones who created a number of solid plastic toys I owned a kid, one of my favorites being a set of brightly colored dinosaurs that came with a large play mat. While the bigger toys were sold loose the smaller ones like the one I have here were sold in peg bags and buckets.
Onto Turtle Man himself. I love this guy. I wish I still had my bigger one but even in this miniscule little version he still has a ton of detail and personality. I don’t know how else to describe his face other than dorky. He’s got a huge nose and big eyes with a silly expression on his face. He kind of reminds me of Woody Allan. He’s got antennas like any silly retro alien should, a turtle shell body, lobster claws and scaly lizard legs. He also has a long tail a, a spiky protuberance down his spine and a giraffe like neck. He’s such a mixed bag of weirdness that he’s awesome. 7 out of 10.