Crank is another one of those oddities that found it’s way into my collection and into my heart. I’ve had this thing for as long as I can remember and when those dark days of adolescence came and I got rid of many of my toys Crank made the cut to stay with me. Optimus Prime : NO. Crank the Starrior : YES. Not that Crank didn’t deserve to stay, He is super cool after all. The Starriors was one of the many 80s toy lines that failed to garner much attention and quickly fizzled out. There was no cartoon to attract kids to the brand but there was a 4 issue comic book series published by Marvel. I never owned any of those comics but the figures themselves came packaged with mini comics like the old Master’s of the Universe toys. That mini comic helped to flesh out the characters for me and acted as a springboard for my imagination. I only ever owned one other Starriors toy, the big dinosaur Runabout who unfortunately did not survive the apocalyptic age of yard sales. Seeing as I only ever had the two figures it was kind of tough to play Starriors. So instead Crank and Runabout would get inserted into my playtime with another toy line, like Cobra Commander just created this robot to drill into the earths core to unleash a river of lava that would destroy G.I. Joe…things like that. He most often saw action in one of Doug and I’s random figure drawer battle royals. Because characters from misfit toy lines like this didn’t get much use we would often take every character from our figure drawers(we each literally had a drawer in our dressers of random action figures. Bigger collections like Joe and Star Wars had their own boxes.) and dump them all out on the bed. These figures would then fight for dominance by chucking the other figures off the bed Royal Rumble style. Charon would get his ass handed to him by the Lone Ranger who in turn would get sucker punched by a california raisin. Crank always did well in these battles as he was definitely one of my figure drawer favs.
As far as the figure itself goes I love the design. He consists of a torso with removable arms, legs and head. The torso which is a light brown color has a wind up knob on the back that when wound and released sets the large drill on his chest spinning. The fact that it’s wind up as opposed to battery operated means it still works like a charm and I don’t have to worry about corrosion. The arms have no joints but they can be swiveled at the shoulder where they connect to the body. He’s got a gun hand and a claw hand which is pretty awesome. The legs have a joint at the knee which gives him some added articulation. I love the big feet on this guy, I’ve always liked character with big heavy feet. There’s nothing lamer than a big tough robot who has dinky little feet. The head design works great as a face but also as a simple spaceship. There’s a blue glass canopy on the top with a little silver human pilot inside. I always imagined Crank as a sentient robot like a Transformer but maybe with a human sidekick living in his head. If the body was taking a lot of damage the head could launch from the body like an escape pod protecting the human and Crank’s consciousness. This was an awesome figure for so many reasons, the color, the design, the playability, the drill feature…love it all. Damn it, I think I may have to see if I can find some more of these on ebay now. 9 out of 10.