I’ve already told you that my favorite gal from the world of G.I. Joe is the snotty punk rocker Zarana but the Baroness isn’t far behind.  Baroness is the ultimate bad girl.  Skin tight leather catsuit, check.  Thigh-high black leather boots, check. A sexy European accent, check.  A ruthless attitude, check.  Long jet black hair, check.  Naughty librarian glasses, check.  What’s not to love about the Baroness.  Unfortunately though I think that the potential of the character has yet to be achieved in action figure form.  There have been 16 figures of the Baroness released at this point, some are just repaints but there have still been 9 or 10 unique sculpts of the character.  Of all of them I think the original from 1984 is still the best.  It may not be “sexy” but it was by far the most feminine of the female figures released in those early years of Joe.  Scarlet and Cover Girl both looked pretty manly with their short hair sculpted to their heads while Baroness’s hair was a separate rubber piece that was glued to her head allowing it to hang long and look much more natural.  Also I think the glasses on the original figure look better than any that have come since, case in point…

Version 6 of Baroness  was released in 2004 as part of the “new sculpt” generation of figures.  The new sculpt era began in 2002 and by the time this figure came out it was already Hasbro’s 3rd attempt to update Cobra’s sultry intelligence officer.  The first two were bungled so badly that I didn’t even bother to buy them, and I buy everything.  This third attempt while far from perfect was for the first time what I thought to be a worthy follow up to the ’84 figure.  Perhaps because this figure is made up of 90% of the parts used to construct the original.   The only newly sculpted piece was the head.  As far as head’s go hasbro tried something different with this version of Baroness that was a success and a failure at the same time, her glasses were removable.  The Pro of this was that for the first time we had a figure of Baroness without her glasses which was kinda cool and the result was probably the prettiest (I use that term lightly) Baroness we had seen to date.  The Con was that the glasses look f**king ridiculous.  She came with these insanely oversized coke bottle glasses that would make Urkel proud.  It’s the type of accessory I would’ve lost instantly as a kid and they just look plain retarded when you put them on the figure.  Still it was a nice try and I commend Hasbro for attempting something new.  This figure was released in a 3 pack with a hooded Cobra Commander and a Cobra Trooper.  These figures were meant to represent their animated looks of the characters and that is why Baroness is wearing Blue as opposed to her trademark black.  Some people probably hate this figure with her goofy glasses but she remains my 2nd favorite version of the character.  Even the movie figures that were supposed to look like actress Siena Miller failed to top it.  I’m still waiting for the “perfect” version to be released.  6 out of 10.


About mike's collection

I'm a dude that collects toys and writes. I figured I'd combine my hobbies.

Posted on March 30, 2012, in G.I. Joe. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Baroness is of course a favourite though I never even owned her as a child. Seeing the pic above without glasses just seems wrong, and then you show the with glasses and it looks even worse. Perhaps if they were sungless it would pass. I’ve seen girls with some pretty ridiculously over sized sunglasses…

    • Yeah, Paris Hilton comes to mind when you talk of over-sized glasses. I really can’t see the Baroness following Paris’s trends. As I said this figure is far from perfect but it’s one of the better ones out there.

  2. The figure kind of looks like Joseph Gordon Levit in drag.

    • Come on now, it’s not that bad. Though there could be some family resemblance because according to G.I. Joe:The Rise Of Cobra, Baroness is the sister of Cobra Commander who was portrayed by Joseph Gordon-Levit

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