I’m still reeling from the news about G.I. Joe: Retaliation being pushed back 9 months. I’m not sure what this will mean for the toy line but I can’t imagine it being a good thing. I think I may need to take a break from reviewing G.I. Joe figures for a few days until I’ve had a chance to come to terms with this ridiculous move by Paramount. So today I’ve decided to review another one of those weird oddities that I have sitting around. This here is a keychain of a furry pink bird smoking a pipe. A couple of weeks ago I reviewed Mack the Mouse, a beloved stuffed animal from my childhood. I told you about how Mack was won for me by an Aunt at the country fair. This little guy came from that same fair. At least I’m pretty sure he did. He definitely came from a fair and that’s the only one I recall going to regularly as a kid. Doug and I won all kinds of stupid crap at that fair. Most of our prizes were pretty small as we weren’t the aces that are Aunts and Uncles were. I remember Doug and I had accumulated a pretty decent collection of those colored feathers on metal clips over the years. I’m sure they must’ve been the “thanks for trying” prize that every kid got. Another popular fair item was the logo’ed mirror. Reflective squares of varying sizes that usually had a metal band’s logo painted over top. I think I may have had an Iron Maiden one, but the one I proudly displayed on my shelf for years was of the Playboy bunny logo. Doug had a few but the one I remember the most was his AC/DC Highway To Hell mirror. It was bigger and of better quality than the little ones we had; he clearly had to actually pop some balloons to win this thing. The image was of a devil reaching out with his arms. It was the type of thing that the longer you looked at it the more detail you would see. Like what at first appeared to be just a trail of smoke was actually a road or the “highway to hell” upon closer inspection. He probably still has that thing.
When it comes to this keychain I remember winning a pair of them one year. Besides this bird there was also a white gorilla who instead of smoking a pipe could suck his thumb. I loved both of these guys and had them sitting on the same shelf as my Playboy mirror for many years. I also just flashed back to this fuzzy yellow googly eyed thing that also sat on the shelf. It looked like cousin IT from the Addams family except with big eyes , a red clown nose and a sign on his chest that said “Kiss my Grits”. I never really knew what that meant but I liked that yellow furball anyway. I’m not sure what my criteria was for keeping or discarding stuff as a young teen. I kept my toys longer than most of my friends and when it finally came to toss stuff out or sell it off at a yard sale I kept the pipe smoking bird but tossed the thumb sucking monkey. Why? I liked them both. They take up no room. Why not discard both or keep both? I dunno. Grits is gone, the Playboy mirror is gone, the chocolate ladybug that I kept for 15 years is gone and yet the mangy old bird keychain remains. He actually isn’t much of a keychain anymore, the chain has long since been pulled off. What remains is an “action figure” that doesn’t really belong anywhere in my collection. I’m sure no one reading this post even cares and may be wondering why review this thing? Well for the same reason I reviewed Mack, this groddy tobacco smoking arms instead of wings bird is part of my childhood and I kinda love him. I actually feel bad that I threw out his monkey companion. 5 out of 10.