SECTO-VIPER

G.I. JOE

When I was a kid Doug and I played with our G.I. Joes all the time. We had a giant collection between the two of us and one of the downsides of that was the sheer amount of time required to set everything up and put everything away. Because of that we usually didn’t haul everything out of our toy boxes when we played. More often than not we would simply grab our shoeboxes of figures and maybe a vehicle or two from the toy box and play with those. Just playing with the figures on the carpet with a few throw pillows as mountains was background enough and our imaginations filled in the rest of the desert landscape. It was usually reserved for long weekends and holidays, when we could play for a solid few days, that we would break out every single piece of Joe weaponry and machinery that we owned and have what we would call a “Big Battle”. We would have the most epic week-long Big Battles during March Break. Because of these Big Battles, vehicles were an important part of our Joe Universe and many of them were must-have items. Most of the vehicles we had were awesome but there were a few duds. The main reason we ended up with the duds is because we needed to get the vehicle in order to get the exclusive figure packaged with it. We never would’ve owned key characters like Wild Bill, Covergirl or Frostbite if we hadn’t bought the vehicles that they came with. Cobra vehicles rarely came with a “name” character like Destro or Zartan. They usually introduced us to some new pilot/grunt whose sole purpose in the organization was to drive this particular type of vehicle. Some examples would be: Motor-Viper, Strato-Viper and my favourite Cobra character ever, Ice-Viper. The subject of today’s post, Secto-Viper, was one of those troop building vehicle drivers. In order to get Secto-Viper I had to get the Cobra BUGG. The BUGG was a super cool wheeled submarine/tank that leaned more towards the sci-fi fantasy aspects of the Joe brand. It had all kinds of compartments and seating for multiple figures along with a detachable mini-sub and 2 jet skis. It was sweet. Nowadays I don’t have room to display vehicles and don’t really have any desire to collect them. I only pick them up now if they’re super cool like the Starscream Skystriker or, as is usually the case, I just want the figure packaged with it. One benefit of this modern age is that if I really want a figure but don’t want the big clunky vehicle I can usually find the figure loose on ebay. If the BUGG and Secto-Viper were to come out today, Secto-Viper would be an internet purchase or I would never own him at all. The Bugg was cool and all but it was BIG and today would probably cost around $75. I wouldn’t pay that much for a vehicle which is gonna go directly into the closet just to get the figure, even though he is a cool figure.

I love the bright yellow outfit. It really makes him stand out amongst his Cobra brethren who are usually decked out in blue, black or red. The outfit is relatively simple in design but it works. It looks functional enough to me. The coolest thing about this figure is the removable glass dome that covers his head.

revised mask

When he’s sporting that helmet he looks like he’s all ready for a bathtub adventure. The least coolest thing about this figure is his nose. It might seem like a silly complaint but I always hated how this guy’s nose was exposed. When you remove the glass dome you see his face which is mostly covered in a skin-tight black mask. If just his eyes were showing he’d be awesome but with the eyes AND nose exposed his cool factor is greatly diminished in my eyes. It bothered me so much that I eventually grabbed a sharpie and rectified the situation. Now my Secto-Viper can’t breathe so good but at least he looks ninja-cool. 6 out of 10.

Cobra BUGG

CRIMSON GUARD IMMORTAL v.3 (2015)

G. I. JOE: FIGURE SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE 3.0

About a week and a half ago I reviewed a Crimson Guard Officer figure. Loyal reader and frequent commenter Guy requested that I follow that up with a review of the leaders of the Crimson Guard, Tomax and Xamot. The modern-era versions of the twins are on my short list of pending reviews but before I get to them I’m going to first take a look at another member of the crimson clad  family; Crimson Guard Immortal.

The first Crimson Guard figure was released in 1985. The Crimson Guard were said to be the soldiers who were most loyal to Cobra Commander. However, that proved not to be the case in the G.I. Joe comics published by Marvel in the 1980s as it was a CG that murdered the Commander and stole his identity. Over the years Hasbro has released numerous variations of the classic Crimson Guard. Like when Pink dyed her hair blonde the CGs refuse to be fashion slaves to their namesake. The Guards have donned uniforms ranging in colors from yellow to tan to black.

One of the first Crimson Guard uniform variations came in the form of 1991’s Crimson Guard Immortal. I had stopped collecting Joes by ’91 so I never owned the original Immortal figure. I always assumed they looked different because they were higher ranking CGs but upon reading the file card I now see that there was no mention of the Immortals being squad leaders. The card describes them as fanatical super soldiers and the most formidable fighters in the Cobra Legions.

The ’91 Immortal figure was rereleased with a new blue paint deco in 2003.  I never acquired that one either even though my passion for collecting Joes had been renewed with a vengeance the year prior.  Version 2 came packaged with a vehicle I didn’t want so the added cost deterred me buying a brand new one. Plus I didn’t suffer from completest fever in those days so I didn’t feel compelled to seek a loose one out on the secondary market either.

version 1 (1991)

Since I never owned either of the previous incarnations of this character I have no nostalgic ties to the Crimson Guard Immortal and wasn’t clamoring for a modern-era update. When the Club announced last year that Immortal would be included in their third Figure Subscription Service (FSS) I was rather indifferent about it. I’m always happy to add new trooper types to my Cobra ranks but I would’ve preferred to see a Secto-Viper or a Sea Slug.

Often times proposed FSS figures that I’m lukewarm about end up wowing me once I have them in hand.  That is not the case with Crimson Guard Immortal. Overall I think he looks pretty cool and he fits in nicely with the rest of my crimson army but there are just a few too many issues keeping him from being a great figure.

A lot of people out there don’t seem to like the vest the Club gave him.  They say its a poor approximation of the armour chest plate of the original.  I personally don’t have a problem with the vest.  It adds some bulk to the figure and I think it does a decent job of recreating the armoured look of the original’s torso.  The head sculpt is pretty good but there’s something a little off about it.  The goggles seem to sit a bit low making it hard to imagine someone’s face fitting inside there.  However the original looked that way too so I can’t knock the Club for replicating the design of the vintage figure.

What I don’t like about this figure are the arms and feet.  The feet have really annoying rocker joints at the ankles.  Sometimes too much articulation can be a bad thing and that is the case here.  These type of joints make it difficult to line up the  figure’s feet holes with the pegs on the stand and even when you do the holes aren’t deep enough.  The result is a very wobbly figure.  The arms used here are brutal.  The shoulder joints appear to be lower down on the torso than they should be and the vest accentuates it.  The elbow joints are goofy and the silver gauntlets don’t look good.  Worst of all are the hands, he’s got incredibly long hands with ape-like fingers.  He can barely hold onto any of his accessories. So now I’ve got a wobbly guy who drops everything; it’s like he’s a drunk.

Speaking of accessories Immortal comes with two guns.  The smaller one fits in his hand okay but the larger one is useless. He also comes with a missile launcher and 3 missiles just like the original but he can’t hold that either so it’s pointless too.  Lastly he comes with a flag featuring what I guess is the Crimson Guard logo.  I love the flag but for the love of god why didn’t the Club give him a display base with a hole to place the flag in? The Club’s FSS 2.0 Keel Haul got a hole for his flag.  How come the guy whose hands don’t work has to carry his?  It’s cruel.

Despite all of those issues there’s still enough here to like to not give this figure a terrible score.  Let’s go with a 6 out of 10.

 

COBRA EEL (Kre-o)

G. I. JOE / KRE-O

A couple of months ago the action figure world of G.I. Joe collided with the brick figure world of Lego and thus Kre-O Joes were born.  Kre-O is Hasbro’s in-house brand of Lego which is completely compatible with the king of brick toys.  The first major Kre-O crossover was with Transformers.  The initial sets allowed you to build large-scale Autobots and Decipticons out of bricks and then reassemble them into their vehicle modes.  Small Lego-men style versions of the characters were thrown into the boxes, seemingly as a bonus toy afterthought.   I had no interest in building Transformers out of Lego but the little men intrigued me.  Apparently I wasn’t the only one who fancied the little guys because Hasbro has shifted their focus to the little men instead of the larger construction sets.  Once the Transformers started getting released in small blind packs, retailing for around $4.00, I got hooked.  It’s been less than a year since I bought my first Kre-O toys and now my collection has outgrown the new bookshelf I bought for them.

1985 original EEL

The main reason my collection has grown so fast isn’t because of the individual figures but because of the larger vehicle sets that came out once G.I. Joe got in on the action.  I don’t usually buy vehicles for my regular sized Joes because they’re expensive and take up too much room.  The Kre-O vehicles on the other hand are small, relatively affordable, and you get to build them yourself.  The Kre-O toys actually allow me to have some fun with my purchases as I snap them together.

Earlier this week my pal Andrew informed me that our local Toys R Us had stocked the second wave of blind packed Joe figures.  The first wave proved very difficult to find (I still need half the figures) so I didn’t want to waste anytime snatching up wave 2.  Andrew told me that the box had already been picked through when he was there so I didn’t have high hopes when Vanessa popped into the store for me last night.  Luckily they must’ve restocked because Vanessa texted me to say that they had all 12 unique figures.  Luckily I armed her with my credit card before she went out and I told her to grab the lot of them.  On that note, $4 a figure doesn’t seem like much until you buy 12 of them, they add up quickly.

I feel that the wave 2 selection of characters is far better than wave 1.  There isn’t a dud in the bunch.  I’d be hard pressed to name my favorite but it’s probably either Major Bludd or the B.A.T.  For my first wave 2 review I’ve opted for the Cobra Eel.

The  Cobra Frogmen known as EELS were first introduced to the brand in 1985.  It was an excellently designed figure that filled a need in the Cobra ranks.  They had cool accessories like flippers and an air mask.  My brother Doug owned the EEL figure when we were kids.  Doug also owned Undertow, the Lamprey, and Copperhead.  The closest thing I had to an aquatic Cobra was Secto-Viper.

My Cobra dive team began to fill up in the early 2000s with new troopers like the Morays and the Electric Eels.  In 2008 I finally got a decent representation of the original 1985 Eel.  The 25th anniversary version had a really cool fully removable helmet with a “glass” visor.  Otherwise he was quite similar to the original in design only more detailed.

This Kre-O version is much less detailed but equally awesome.  I’m very impressed by how much care the Kre-O designers take to recreate the looks of the original figures.  Even the knife belt on the lower leg of the 1985 figure is recreated here with a dash of paint.  As far as the helmet goes this little guy has more in common with his 2008 counterpart.  The helmet is removable and has a glass visor which can be lifted to his brow.  Underneath the helmet is the same little masked face present on many of the Cobra Kre-O troopers.

 

 

 

This figure’s accessories are near perfect representations of the original’s gear.  He comes packaged with 2 flippers, a 2-piece harpoon gun, and an oxygen tank backpack.  he also comes with a Kre-O display base which unfortunately can’t be used when he has his flippers on.  This little figure is awesome.  8 out of 10.

 

GYRO-VIPER v1. (1987)

G. I. JOE

Today’s review is going to be short and sweet.  I’ve been very busy these past few weeks with weddings, concerts, barbecues, and all of that other stuff that comes with warm weather.  I’ll be acting team leader for a couple of weeks in July while my boss is on vacation so work has been extra busy as well, having to learn his job while managing my usual workload.   Plus it’s been hot and that makes me lazy.  For all of these reasons my toy reviews have been put on the back burner.  I was going to opt out of reviewing all together tonight so I could lounge around on the couch in front of my air conditioner, but I started feeling guilty so I took a quick browse through my folder of stock photos to find a toy that I could review in about 20 minutes or so.  I found this guy.

This is Gyro-Viper, released back in 1987.  The reason I chose this guy to write about is because I have very little to say about him.  He was only available as the pilot of the Cobra Mamba, some crazy-ass, triple cockpitted, purple attack chopper.  It was a cool looking vehicle which was featured in the cartoons a lot but I never owned one.  I found air and sea vehicles kind of useless most of the time when playing with my Joes, so the Mamba was never a high priority item for me.  I owned the Joe and Cobra jets, the Sky Striker and the Rattler, and when I played with them it pretty much consisted of me holding one in each hand and spinning in circles as they “chased” each other through the air.  I much preferred landing the planes and having the pilots, Ace and Wild Weasel, duke it out on land .  So while I passed on the Mamba I still wanted the Gyro-Viper.  Vehicles in general didn’t ring my bell but I was a figure completist.

I don’t recall where I got this figure exactly, maybe at a flea market or maybe I traded a a friend a fruit roll-up or something for him, but this is what he looked like when he came into my possession.  I took care of my toys.  I was never the type to blow them up or light them on fire; I loved them, which I think is evident since I’m still sitting here writing about them at 35.  I won’t lie and say that no Joes have been injured on my watch because there have been a few.  Tiger Force Roadblock took a nasty tumble out of the aforementioned Sky Striker onto some ice which didn’t end well, my version 1 Major Bludd was lost altogether, and many brave plastic soldiers have lost thumbs and crotches.  But I have never had a man lose an entire arm before.  I don’t know what this Gyro-Viper’s previous owner did to the poor bastard but I like to think I rescued him.  I actually made a paper cast for him so he didn’t look so weird running around with a stump on the battlefield.  Yes, my poor Gyro-Viper was forced to run around on the battlefield like a regular infantryman despite the fact that he was missing an arm and didn’t come with a gun.  But I didn’t have his helicopter so what could I do.

I never cared much for this figure.  It didn’t help that he was released the same year as Ice-Viper and Techno-Viper, two of my favorite viper troopers.  His flight suit was pretty dull both in detail and paint applications.  His big visored maroon helmet was decent looking but didn’t have much in the way of personality.  It was cool that it was removable but I hated that you could see his nose through his under mask.  Secto-Viper had the same problem which I corrected with a sharpie.  I probably would have done the same to this guy if he didn’t have the other helmet to cover up his face.  This guy was kind of a dud amongst my many awesome Cobra soldiers and being handicapped didn’t help him any.  Not great, but not horrible.  5 out of 10.

G.I.JOE (RAH)

VINTAGE  REAL AMERICAN HERO 1982 – 2001

1. Barbecue v.1 (1985)
2. Bushido v.2 (1994)
3. Cobra Trooper v.1 (1982)
4. Doc v.1 (1983)
5. Dusty v.2 (1988)
6. Fast Draw v.1 (1987)
7. Frag Viper v.1 (1989)
8. Gyro-Viper v.1 (1987)
9. H.E.A.T. Viper (1989)
10. Iceberg v.1 (1986)
11. Ice-Viper v.1 (1987)
12. Lady Jaye v.1 (1985)
13. Lifeline v.4 (1994)
14. Lightfoot v.1 (1988)
15. Major Bludd v.1 (1983)
16. Maverick v.1 (1987)
17. Nemesis Enforcer v.1 (1987)
18. Night Creeper v.1 (1990)
19. Night Creeper v.3 (1994)
20. Recoil v.1 (1989)
21. Royal Guard v.1 (1987)
22. Secto-Viper v.1 (1988)
23. Shockwave v.1 (1988)
24. Spirit v.1 (1984)
25. Tele-Viper v.1 (1985)
26. Tomax v.1 (1985)
27. Xamot v.1 (1985)
28. Zarana v.1 (1986)
29. Zartan v.2 (1993)

VEHICLES

1. HISS Tank (1983)
2. Tactical Battle Platform (1985)

FRAG-VIPER v1

G.I. JOE

In my Darklon review the other day I told you how 1988 was the final year that Doug and I collected the entire wave of G.I. Joe figures released that year.  But we were still going pretty strong in 1989 collecting 11 of the 17 carded figures released.  Of the 6 we passed on a couple of them, Stalker and Deep-Six, were new versions of characters we already had in our collection so they didn’t seem essential.  There were just 4 new characters available that year who we skipped, 3 Joes: Backblast, Scoop and Recoil and 1 Cobra: Frag-Viper.

I’m not sure why we let those 4 figures slip away from us.  We were still pretty into Joe at the time.  A few of the ’89 Joes are favorites of mine like Heat-Viper, Alley-Viper, and Gnawgahyde.  The lamest figure released that year was Dee-Jay and I still got him.  Doug and I are both serial collectors who have a hard time not having the complete set of anything so letting a mere 4 new Joes get away from us is very out of character.  It just goes to show the power of girls as I imagine that’s where our attention was shifting around this time.

 

 

 

While Backblast, Scoop and Recoil are not bad figures at all they still do little for me when I look at them.  They’re all pretty average.  But not getting a Frag-Viper, that’s just weird.  I loved Cobra Vipers and was thrilled to add new variations to my Cobra army.  Between us Doug and I had Ice-Vipers, Motor-Vipers, Strato-Vipers, Gyro-Vipers, Night-Vipers, Secto-Vipers, Hydro-Vipers, Astro-Vipers, Toxo-Vipers, Techno-Vipers, and of course just plain old regular Vipers.  Each one specialized in a different field or environment.  The Frag-Vipers were grenade throwers.  Frag-Viper came with a unique throwing tool inspired by the wacky sport Jai Alai in which athletes hurl a ball around using a similar curved hand basket.  It’s a pretty neat concept.   Which makes it even weirder that 11 year old me didn’t seek this figure out.

They never made an updated version of the Frag-Viper in the new sculpt or modern sculpt eras and so I never had one.  Just before Christmas I was checking out a toy retail website that I visit on a regular basis and they had a bunch of vintage Joes listed at some great prices so I snagged a half dozen of them to add to an order of modern Joes I was purchasing.  One of those vintage Joes I picked up was the ’89 Annihilator whom you caught a glimpse of in my 2012 Annihiliator review the other day and another one was the ’89 Frag-Viper.

I figured I might as well finally get this guy seeing as there was no indication that I would be getting a modern version of him anytime soon.  He only cost me a couple of bucks which is nice but unfortunately he doesn’t have any of his weapons so I am without a grenade tossing hand basket.  While I am happy to finally have this figure I will say that he is pretty lackluster in design.  I’m not sure why the Hasbro designers would put such a cool science-fiction inspired helmet on a guy who’s basically wearing a potato sack for a uniform.  The head is very cool and looks like some sort of robot bug.  Those big black eyes really make the Frag-Viper look unnervingly alien.

I guess Cobra Commander blew his Frag-Viper budget on their helmets because the rest of the outfit really is one of the most abysmal Joe sculpts I’ve ever seen.  The shirt and pants have no detail at all other than a bad stitch job down the front of the shirt.  No collar, no pockets, nothing.  And the color is just gross.  And then for some bizarre reason the Frag-Viper is wrapped in a blue sash that seems to serve no purpose at all.  It’s just weird.

The reason I decided to review the Frag-Viper today is to give me an excuse to tell you about the G.I. Joe Collector Club’s 2013 Convention set which was revealed this week.  Last year’s set featured Destro’s Iron Grenadiers vs Russia’s version of G.I. Joe, the Oktober Guard.  The Darklon and Annihilator figures that Vanessa got me for Christmas spun out of that set. Well this year’s theme is the G.I. Joe Night Force Team vs the Cobra Demolitions Team.  This set will feature a number of highly anticipated Joe figures being released in the modern style for the first time and will also feature the first modern style Frag-Viper.  The new Frag-Viper does a great job of capturing the look of the ’89 version, the good and the bad.  The 15 figure box set will contain 3 of these guys so as long as I’m able to get my hands on a set I’ll have gone from having no Frag-Vipers to having a small squad of them.  He may be far from the best Viper out there but he’s not too shabby.  4 out of 10.

COBRA TROOPER v17

G.I. JOE : RETALIATION

Retaliation week rolls on.   Today I’ll be talking about Cobra Trooper.  Cobra Trooper represents the lowliest of Cobra’s ranks.  When Cobra was first introduced as the villain to the G.I.Joe team in the early 80s their roster was pretty light.  There was Cobra Commander of course and besides that there were two Cobra soldiers, the trooper and the officer.  The trooper wore a blue uniform, a blue helmet, and a black balaclava like mask that covered his mouth and nose.  On his chest was a big red Cobra symbol.  The officer looked pretty much the same only with a silver Cobra on his chest.  The trooper didn’t even really have a name of his own, on the package it just said “the enemy”.  Cobra’s ranks quickly filled with unique characters like Destro and Major Bludd as well as a cornucopia of specialty troopers.  The first new standard trooper out of the gate was the Viper.   He was followed by Motor-Viper, Heat-Viper, Strato-Viper, Secto-Viper, Night-Viper, Alley-Viper, Gyro-Viper, Ice-Viper and dozens more.  Cobra had a trooper for almost anything you could imagine.  Communications down?  Call a Tele-Viper.  Weather Dominator not working?  Call a Techno-Viper.   Thumb broken off?  Call a Medi-Viper.  It’s gotten to the point now where at least half of my Cobra soldiers seem redundant, replaced by a new more advanced trooper.  So where does that leave our lowly boys in blue?  Well despite the influx of new specialty troopers, the standard trooper, affectionately known by fans as Blue-Shirts remain the backbone of the Cobra army.  Fans love these guys, myself included.  Nothing represents Cobra better than a simple Blue Shirt with a rifle.  They’ve been re-invented a number of times over the years.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but none hold a candle to the simple design of the original.

This particular reinvention of Cobra’s infantry trooper is a pretty good one.  Most of the key elements are there, Blue helmet? Check.  Black facemask? Check.  Blue shirt?   Check.  Does it look exactly like the original?  No, but that’s okay.  Now when it comes to the first movie audiences were told right in the title that Cobra’s not gonna come charging through the city with a battalion of HISS tanks and Vipers.  It was called The Rise of Cobra.  The movie focused on Destro and his arms manufacturing company MARS.  Cobra was hinted at but not until the final scenes did the wacky scientist Dr. Rex declare himself Cobra Commander just before getting captured.  I understand why they went that route and it wasn’t a bad idea per say but every Joe fan really wanted to see Cobra in all of its glory on screen.  We wanted to see those Vipers and HISS tanks.  All we got though was a bunch of wanky Neo-Vipers.  Destro being the main baddie wouldn’t have been so bad had the filmmakers at least made his troopers Iron Grenadiers as they’re supposed to be.

The fact that the crappy Neo-Viper was the infantry trooper in the first movie mostly sucked because it resulted that subpar figure being released in every color of the rainbow as Hasbro milked the generic trooper for all he was worth.   When the trailer for Retaliation first hit there was so much to be excited about.  Cobra Commander was actually dressed like Cobra Commander, Firefly was there, Storm Shadow was back, Marlon Wayans was nowhere to be seen, and maybe best of all was the  scene showing Cobra blue shirts hanging a Cobra Banner from the roof of the White House.  Cobra Troopers that actually looked like Cobra Troopers!  I was stoked.  Now this figure does not seem to resemble what we saw in that clip.  I’m not certain that the Troopers will appear in the film looking like this at all actually but I sure hope so because this is a really cool looking trooper.  This design makes for an excellent real world interpretation of the standard Cobra soldier.  If he were to lose the red goggles he’s be pretty much spot on.  I do happen to like the goggles though.  I didn’t see any of these goggled guys in the trailer but this guy may only be wearing goggles because he’s a paratrooper.  At least he can be, he came included with alternate web-gear that attaches to an awesome parachute adorned with the Cobra symbol.  I really like this figure and I hope he’s re-released many more times in alternate colors and such so I can justify buying many of them.  9 out of 10.